Project Tasteless Challenge #4

This week's Project Tasteless Challenge is right up my alley....it involves booze!!! And we all know that I LOVE TO DRANK!!!!!! I've missed out on the last two challenges due to prepping for my figure competition but I'm all in for this week's challenge! The task - create a drink you would serve for your favorite holiday.

For those of you that aren’t from the good o’ state of Arizona, we are known here for our extreme heat. It’s the kind of heat that melts your hair grease when you walk 200 feet from your car to your office (happens to me all of the time). It’s the kind of heat that makes you say, “It’s cooling down next week” when you see the 7 day forecast and it’s going to be 104 degrees versus 114 degrees. It’s the kind of heat that makes you play games like “Bet you $5 that my skin will be hotter than your’s after standing outside for 3 minutes since I’m the color of a Tootsie Roll and you’re not”.

I am aware of the fact that people will want to say that a dry heat is better than the heat + humidity of, let’s say, Florida but I have one thing to say to those individuals. Shut the heck up because you have no clue what you’re talking about!!! Being in a state that is HOT AS HELL is not a prize - we don't feel special because our skin boils when we go outdoors!!!

Now, it is very common for the meteorologists (I have no frickin’ clue why I can’t just call them “weathermen” but they want to be bougie so whatevs!) of local news stations to have contests where people try to guess the first day that the temperature will reach 100 degrees. It’s a stupid contest to have but you know what….don’t judge us….it’s what we do in the Southwest!!!

So, while those of you who live outside of this state may not celebrate the “Holy Crap! It’s April and We’ve Hit 100 Degrees” holiday – we Arizonans do and we like to have a beverage called a Michelada to commerate this joyous event. This drink is part healthy (Clamato) and part you’re about to get trashed (beer & other booze!!) so when you’re drinking them instead of a protein shakes don’t blame me.

Let this serve as your official notification that this drink is for big kids. If you want a creamy, frothy, pretty, minty holiday cocktail that you drink out of a fancy sippy cup, this drink is way outta your league!

Here’s what you need:

Ice
¼ Clamato
½ Dos Equis Lager

*if you even consider using a light beer, I will travel to where you are and put my size 10 in your ass!
2 shots of Vodka

*this number is for beginners...if you're a professional like me, you may have 3-4 shots

Juice of a lime
2 dashes of Worcestershire sauce
3 dashes of Tabasco
Pinch of salt
Pinch of pepper
Pinch of celery salt

*please note that I have large man hands so my “pinch” may not be the same as your’s*


So you'll start with....

Then add this....

And Clamato plus this....

Add a bit of this....

Don't forget....

Which should result in a glass that looks like this....

Now...excuse me while I taste test this holiday beverage....you know...for contest purposes....

*cigar is optional!*