Determined vs Unrealistic

I know most of you have heard the quote "ask and you shall receive". Well, I asked for feedback from the head judge at the AZ Open show and the other night, I received it.

The email contained the P word. Yep, it contained the word I have literally been working my butt & muscle off to avoid.

Physique.

Once again I have been told that I am too muscular for figure. Once again I have been told that I need to consider changing divisions. Once again I am being told "your physique is awesome...BUT..."

As I do with all the feedback I receive, I forwarded it to The Bosses. In my message to them, I asked a simple question.

"Truthfully, am I just being completely ridiculous & stubborn 

by not giving up figure and making the switch?"

I ask The Bosses the question above while asking myself "When do you cross the line from determined to unrealistic?"

I am determined to be successful in figure. There is something inside of me that tells me that I could be a serious threat in this division. At times I can picture myself winning my pro card at a national show and going on to compete on the pro stage.

I know I can do this. I know it to my core.

But I wonder if what I think I know is really me just being unrealistic in my goals and expectations?

Is it possible that the people who are waving physique in front of me know something that I don't? Are they privy to some piece of information I haven't received yet? Are they smarter than me?

I don't have the answer to any of those questions but one thing is certain, I will not be switching divisions this year. I still love figure deeply and I know it's not time for us to go our separate ways.

You might call it unrealistic. I call it determined. Let's agree to disagree.

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Puttin' It Down In My Hometown - Part 2

Before we continue this walk down memory lane, I wanted to share with you that I made the Siouxcountry banner this week! Head over to the website and check it out!!

I ended Part 1 with Figure Class B lining up and getting read to hit the stage. As I stood there, the last girl in line, I realized that I was towering over most of the girls that were lining up. I had a momentary freak out because I was worried that in the judges eyes, I would look like Gigantor compared to everyone else. I pushed that thought aside and mentally went over the things I knew I needed to do when I walked on the stage.."smile...remember to look at the judges...chest up...spread lats.." The next thing I knew the expediter was walking us onto the stage and directing us to where we should stand.

After my line did our quarter turns and returned to the side of the stage, the head judge began calling the numbers of  those in the first callout. As each number was being read I kept thinking to myself, "Please call #39...please...just call #39". The number of competitors slowly rose from 3 to 4 to 5 and after the fifth number was called, I knew that I didn't make first callout. As my heart broke just a little bit, I reminded myself that there was still the AZ Open the following weekend. I was startled when, in the middle of my attempt to uplift myself, I heard "#39 please join the line". I would be a total liar if  I said I didn't jump up & down with glee on the inside but I made sure to walk quickly to the front of the stage and smile politely at the judges. 

Trying to contain my glee at being in first callouts!

Front pose courtesy of the show's official photographer

After our class was excused by the judges, I went to my spot and put my jacket & pants on so that I could go out to the audience. My parents, my sister, and a couple of my friends were in attendance so I chatted with them for a little bit. I knew Tom would have some feedback to give me so I headed over to where he was sitting and he told me his thoughts about my class and my possible placing. Since I needed to eat and The Princess needed to be picked up from my in-laws, we decided to leave and not finish watching the rest of prejudging. While Tom and I walked to the car, I expressed to him that I was a little disappointed that I remained on the end of the line and was never moved during the comparisons. In his calm and to the point way, he reminded me that I was fortunate to be in first callouts and I should be happy with the package I presented.

Me and my mister <3

My sister, my mom, and I

After having lunch with my sister and parents, we headed to pick up The Princess. She was full of questions and kept saying she couldn't wait to watch me get a trophy at the night show. Once we got home, I took off my suit and rested on the couch. Before I knew it, it was time to get myself and The Princess ready to head out the door. The Princess was excited because this was her first time attending finals and most importantly, she had a new outfit to wear :)

Honestly, I don't remember much about finals. I remember making it a point to put on my ipod and start the book I had checked out from the library. Each competitor is individually introduced during finals so I knew it would be a bit of wait before it was my turn to hit the stage. I did meet WBFF Pro Karen Mullarkey backstage! She was sitting on the floor next to me and it took me a good 10-15 minutes before I realized who she was. She had two girls who were competing in bikini so all of us sat on the floor, chatted, laughed, and just enjoyed each other's company. 


After individual presentations, the audience is given a brief intermission. During this time, the expediters post the top 5 for each class. As the sheets were being taped to the wall, I literally sat in the corner trying not to get ill. No matter what I may have told people beforehand, I was going to be extremely disappointed if I did not place in the top 5.


Once the stampede to the postings died down, I slowly walked over to the Figure Class B sheet with my eyes half-open. When I finally got the courage to open them, this is what I saw.

I spy with my little eye... :)

Yeeeaaahhhh buuudddyyy!!!! My names was highlighted!!!  I sent a text to Tom, who was awaiting the verdict out in the audience, that said "Top 5, baby!". The expediter began yelling for the top 5 of each class to get ready to go back out on stage. I quickly touched up my lipstick and headed up the stairs to the stage.


Since I previously shared the video of trophy presentations in my Look What I Have post, I won't go into a ridiculous amount of detail about this portion of the show. I will just say that when they called my name, my heart dropped a teeny tiny bit at not doing better than I had done at last year's show but I didn't think about it too much. My friends and family were cheering for me and I was happy & relieved!

I think the look on my face is ridiculous...and priceless..lol

NPC Terminator, Figure Class B, Top 5

After the trophy presentations, I gathered my stuff and headed out the audience. The Princess gave me a huge hug and then instantly grabbed for my trophy...lol! I think that girl loves trophies more than I do ;) My baby brother was at the show and being his normal, smartass self asked me, "5th? I came to watch you get 5th??" My mother, father, and sister-in-law were in attendance and they are such a crazy group! Molly, one of the engineers (meaning she drives the fire engine) at Tommy's station was sweet enough to come to the show as well. 

Tom and I decided to wait until the show was completely over so we could speak the judges and get feedback. We wanted to know what could I work on in the next week that might help me improve for the AZ Open. One of the judges was at last year's NPC Terminator and at that time gave me some really great feedback. I decided to speak with him again and the conversation was, once again, very beneficial. 

With feedback fresh in our minds and a 5th place trophy in my hand, it was time to head home for a tiny cheat meal, shower, and sleep! My brother decided to come over to our house and we ate, drank a little, and had a really good time. I really miss being able to do that with him since he's livin' it up in Los Angeles!

"I'm Proud of You, Mom" kisses from The Princess

My parents left roses at my house! Yes, they have a key to my house :)

The card from my mom & dad

Isn't my brother so handsome??!

We all decided to call it a night around 1:00 am. As I crawled into bed, I vowed to work as hard as I could in the following week to do better, look better, be better. It was officially Sunday, July 15th and peak week #2 was beginning!!

What my kitchen looked like Sunday morning!

New Release Tuesday

Y'all know my love for P!nk runs deep! She's my Idol of All Things Bada$$. Every time I hear this song, I turn it up as loud as it will go!

Get ready to enjoy the newest addition to your playlist...you're welcome ;)

Puttin' It Down In My Hometown - Part 1

Ohhhheeeemmmmggggeeeeeee!!! You guys, I have been so busy eating Birthday Cake Oreos, carne asada fries, ribs, marshmallows, and drinking liquor that I completely forgot about posting a recap of the NPC Terminator and AZ Open!! I'm putting down the snacks and booze just long enough to recap the first show!


Peak week #1 went smoothly. It is not uncommon for me to have difficulty sleeping during the week leading up to a show but not this week. Each night I was in bed and snoring by 9:00 pm (awesome!). I had workouts to complete on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday and I was surprised that my strength had not decreased as much as I expected it to. Tom was able to get some video footage of one of my workouts so he wants to put together something to share with you.

Practicing my posing between sets

The only issue that presented itself - my muthaf'n period!!!!

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I swear that I get my period EVERY single time I have a show. It doesn't matter how much counting or planning I do, the damn thing makes an unpleasant appearance every time! I was stressed because I know my body and I hold water like a camel during that "special time of the month".

One day out!

I was softer and more squishy than I wanted to when I stepped on stage, I was still happy about the way I looked. I really felt like I was bringing one of my best packages ever!

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The city of Tucson is currently putting in a "modern streetcar" (I'm not even going to talk about how I feel about this whole pile of shit) and the street in front of the theatre where the show was being held is completely torn up. This presented a bit of a problem in terms of parking and accessing the theatre. The hotel that was the "host hotel" and the location where check-ins were to take place went out of business a little over a month before the show was to take place. Gotta love Tucson...lol!

The Princess resting on the drive into Tucson :)

Tom demonstrating his mad driving skills...like a boss!

Check-ins were moved to another downtown area hotel and it was a bit of a mess. Athlete check-in, purchasing of NPC cards, and height measurements were all being done in the lobby of the hotel. The space was not meant for all of the things that needed to take place and the number of people present but somehow I was able to check in, get measured, purchase my show pictures, and pee all in a reasonable amount of time.

After we left the hotel, my fam and I headed off to run a couple of small errands. I needed to find a bracelet, buy a set of press-on nails, and a couple of other things. I was also anxious to get to my last meal of the day which was....wait for it....A BURGER!!! While waiting for my burger to arrive, I was able to chat with The Boss #1. I just love her! She asked how I was feeling and gave me some last minute instructions on what I was to do the next day.

I was able to sleep pretty soundly and when the alarm went off bright & early Saturday morning,  I was ready to do the damn thang!! I ate my first meal, drank my coffee out of my Wonder Woman mug, and watched the "I Am A Champion" video to put me in the right mindset.

Channeling my inner WonderWoman

The athlete's meeting was nothing extraordinary. The promoter spoke about the rules (ex. you must wear long sleeves and pants while in the front part of the theatre), the head judge and other judges introduced themselves, and the show photographer spoke about purchasing stage pictures. After everyone said their piece, they began calling up divisions. I heard "Open Figure, class B, 5'4 3/8 and up" but sat in my chair because I usually compete in Class E not Class B. After waiting about 5 minutes and hearing no other figure classes called, I scurried onstage and received my competitor number, #39!

I remembered from competing in the NPC Terminator last year that the backstage area at the Fox Theatre is very small. I made the decision to grab the same corner I found last year if no one had claimed it yet. Guess what? Everyone walked right past "my spot" and so I put down my yoga mat and bag. One thing I like about Miles Productions is the fact that they post an itinerary with projected times that each class will go on. This can be very helpful in determining when you need to be finished with your makeup, when you need to eat your carbs, and when you need to pump up. However, this show the itinerary was just a waste of paper...lol!  

It was probably 45 minutes before the posted time on the itinerary, when one of the expeditors starting yelling "Figure girls....you're up in 10 minutes"...uhhh....excuse me...what the what?!? I started scrambling to get ready. Luckily, I had done most of my makeup at home but I still need to put on my foundation and lipstick. I had a mirror in my bag so I whipped that bad boy out & started putting on the finishing touches. Once I was done, I threw a Reese's cup into my mouth and sprinted  walked quickly to the pump up room. That was a bad idea...for several reasons! The room was HUMID! It was tiny! It was packed full of male physique competitors hogging the weights despite the fact that their division was not going on for at least another 45 minutes (this seriously pissed me off). My makeup started sliding off my face so I quickly left the room, ran over to my bag and pulled out my bands. As I tried to pump up while drying off my sweaty body while trying to save my foundation while trying to get some cool air under my heavy ass wig, I heard the words "Figure Class B, it's time". I threw down the bands, adjusted my wig, patted my face one last time and told myself to hit my poses like my life depended on it.

We'll continue this in a couple of days :)

New Release Tuesday

They're back!!!! I'm so happy I don't know what the hell to do with myself!!

My Collection Grows!!

2012 NPC AZ Open

Class D, 5th place

The 2010 NPC AZ Open was my first figure competition.

I placed dead last.

I hadn't competed in Phoenix since then so 

I was nervous.

Can someone say "redemption"??? :)

Look What I Have!

Tom was able to capture trophy presentations from last week's

 NPC Terminator on video! 

How awesome is that??!

 I love the part in the video when I wave to my family! 

You can also see me talking to Jessie who won our class

 right before they call her name.

 I was telling her that she should run when we get off stage

 because I was going to steal her tiara! :)

P.S. If you don't recognize the emcee's voice,
that's IFBB Figure Pro Felicia Romero. 

Yep, Felicia Romero said my name! #donthate