I'm Back! For Real This Time!!!

I could go into a long detailed explanation about why it's been almost a year since the last time I posted but I'm not going to do that. Let's just say, life happened and I pushed blogging to the bottom of my priority list. But I've missed it and I've missed you, my readers, and so I am vowing to make a conscious effort to blog more frequently.

So what's happening competition-wise? Well, my initial plan was to step on stage in July at Team Universe and win my pro card. If I was unable to win my card at Team Universe, I planned to hit the Masters Nationals stage two weeks later and win it there. These two shows were my finish line. Every workout, every meal, every thing I did during the off-season was for these two shows. I was determined to do the work so that when the time came, I would be victorious.

Prep started and things were moving along, slowly, but they were moving. Then there was a shift. Shit started happening. I couldn't control everything like I had previously been able to. I wasn't sleeping well. I was stressed. I was emotional. I was dealing with so many things all at once and guess what? I started to crack. Small cracks at first but they were there.

I checked in with my coach when scheduled and my thoughts gradually changed from being confident about being ready for Team U to concerned thoughts of having a physique that would be competitive for the national stage. I shared these thoughts with my two best friends and no one else. I strongly believe in the power of "speaking on it" so I was worried that if I kept saying that I wouldn't be ready, then that is what would happen.

Last Saturday marked 4 weeks out from Team Universe and I sent my progress pictures into the Boss Lady. However, this check in was different. I included a video message to her in which I said I didn't want to do Team U or Masters Nationals. I was open and honest about my feelings and my fears. I didn't sugar coat anything which I realized I had been doing in most of my check ins. Since she was out of town with clients that were competing, we agreed to talk when she returned home. 

We talked last Monday and agreed that I am not ready to compete at the national level next month. The Boss Lady told me to focus on the other aspects of my life, do what I needed to make training fun again, and to keep in mind that the stage will always be there whether it's in a few months or next year.

It was after that conversation that I decided I would not be competing in 2016. My heart and mind were just not in it. I just couldn't give prep & competing the attention and dedication it required. There would be no bedazzled suits or 5 inch clear heels for me this year. There would be no pro card. It broke my heart but I also felt extremely relieved, like a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.

I took all of last week off from the gym. I didn't lift or do cardio. I happily drove past my gym without stopping and didn't feel one ounce of guilt about it.

Today was my first day back to the gym and during my workout I heard something that made me stop, put down the dumbbell that was in my hand, sit, and cry.

"You've gotten this far.

If you were going to quit, 

you shoulda quit a long time ago.

You've come too far to quit now.

Show me that nothing is impossible."

*Eric Thomas*

I texted my best friend Lo and sent her what I had heard. Her response was "That's true...u didn't come this far to quit...it's not what we do. So what r u going to do about it?" 

I don't know exactly what I'm going to do but I do know this, I'm not hanging up my clear heels just yet. It doesn't feel right. 

Nothing is impossible so I will figure this shit out and make something happen.

I hope you'll join me for the ride. 

It's Officially #FlatoutLove

Y'all know that I love food and that I am basically a fat kid at heart, right??



#LaOffseasonLoca has been really awesome in that I have been able to try different foods and work at being more creative with my meals. This is why I was incredibly excited to have the opportunity to review a new Flatout product that hasn't even hit shelves yet!*

*keep reading for a coupon to purchase Flatouts wraps and pizza crust!

Goodies!

Right before I headed to L.A. for TheFitExpo, a package of goodies arrived at my door from Flatout. I was so excited to see what they had sent, I took the box with me to work so I could open it there :) What I had received was packages of Flatout's new line of high protein, low carb flatbread wraps. They generously sent me two packages of each of three new flavors they will be launching. The three flavors are:

• Core 12 - this is their original wrap recipe made with chickpeas
• Red Pepper Hummus - also powered by chickpeas
• Sea Salt & Crushed Black Pepper - brought to you by navy beans
• 
  

I left early Thursday morning and since I knew I had a long day of driving ahead of me, I wanted to make sure that I ate something tasty & filling. Perfect time to try out the Sea Salt & Crushed Black Pepper wrap!

Don't bother me - I'm eating :)

I do not love eggs or egg whites but I am adding them to the "meal rotation" about 2-3 times a week. For this particular wrap, I used 4 medium egg whites. Combining the egg whites with a chicken sausage, a handful of spinach, some goat cheese, and Sriracha made me a do my happy wiggle!



Sunday morning before heading back to the expo, several FitFluential Ambassadors and I were invited to a "First Taste Breakfast" with the amazing folks of Flatout. We were able to see the packaging ideas, try out recipes using the wraps, in addition to learning more about the product we were sent.
Interesting pieces of information that I took away from the breakfast:

• Beans are high in protein and complex carbs so they can provide you with long-lasting energy.
• Beans have more antioxidant potential than blueberries.
• Eating beans has been shown to reduce hunger and overall calorie intake throughout the day.
• 
  

The Flatout table at the #LAFitExpo

When I got back from L.A. and saw The Mister, he asked me about the "tortilla things" on the counter. I explained to him that they were not tortillas but were flatbread wraps and told him I wanted him to try them.





He wasn't feeling extra adventurous that morning so he just used the wrap for one of his favorites, runny icky eggs :) The Sea Salt & Crushed Black Pepper was not his favorite so I told him he had to try the Red Pepper Hummus (which is my personal favorite!).





The Mister opted for carne asada, goat cheese, and Sriracha while The Princess and I had a shrimp-lentil-brown rice-olive oil concoction I threw together. Y'all know I'm not one for b.s. so when I say that my family is a big fan of these wraps, it's the truth!




Here are some recipe ideas for you to keep in mind when you buy your first set of wraps ;) and while ProteinUp won't hit the shelves for another few weeks, you can still experiment with the Flatout wraps and pizza crusts. Here's a coupon to use when you go shopping! https://www.hopster.com/offeres/flatout/13072852/1

I still have more wraps to use so....here's my question for you....what recipes should I try next??

This post is sponsored by FitFluential on behalf of Flatout.

Sights & Sounds - Day 1

Y'all.....Los Angeles was frickin' A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!! What an amazing city!! I had so much fun and I can't wait to tell you all about it! I'll save my adventures with my brother for its own blog post so let's start with Day 1 of TheFitExpo!

TheFitExpo was being held at the Los Angeles Convention Center and lucky for me, this was about a 10-15 minute walk from my brother's apartment. Friday night, Jonathan showed me where the Convention Center was in proximity to the restaurant we ate at and his apartment. It was an easy route and I wasn't worried about finding my way the next morning. Umm....ya....except we didn't know they were going to close that particular route because the Grammy's were going to be taking place on Sunday. So, I had to take the "long" route and after a lenghtier power walk than I anticipated, I made it to the Convention Center and headed upstairs to meet the rest of the group.

Made it!

7:45 am and even though the expo didn't open until 10,
people were already in line and waiting to buy tickets!

Our room for the weekend - this was where we could refuel,
charge our phones, blog, tweet, etc in "peace &quiet" :)

I finally met Jody!!!
From my Instagram

Jody, Melissa, and I!
photo courtesy of Melissa Running It

From my Twitter 

After going over some of the logistics of the day, we were able to introduce ourselves to one another and chat it up. The first person I HAD to meet was Jody from Truth2BeingFit. I'm not quite sure how I "discovered" her blog but from the moment I started reading, I was a fan! Jody is 57 and still throwin' around heavy weight almost every day (she has been lifting weights for over 30 years!). I love that her blog is a mix of workouts, reviews, glimpses into her personal life, and lessons about learning the lesson that "I Am Enough". The second she & I saw each other. there was squealing and hugging (which you know is a big deal because I don't hug...lol). Then we spotted Melissa from Melissa Running It. Cue more squealing and hugging! The funny thing is, it felt like we had met before and had known each other for years. FitFluential is not only about blogging or having a presence on social media. It is about connecting with others, finding inspiration from others, and forming bonds and friendships.

The calm before the storm :)

I and the other Ambassadors were then escorted downstairs to where the expo would be taking place and told that we could walk the floor. I'm not saying it was like telling a group of small children that they had Disneyland all to themselves....bbbbuuutttt......it could have been :)

Spotted these leggings from J Fitness Wear!
Went back and bought them once their booth was officially opened!

From my Instagram

There were certain brands/companies I was looking for including RSP Nutrition, 6 Pack Bags, Smart Shake, and of course, Nubreed Nutrition. I found almost all of them (except RSP) but Nubreed is the only booth whose table I jumped on for a picture :)

Before we knew it, it was time for the doors to open to the public. There was a rush, literally, of bodies through the doors. I could hear people talking about who they wanted to see, what workouts they wanted to do, what they wanted to buy, and more. There was this excitement in the air that I can't quite describe. It almost felt as electric as the Olympia Expo.

From my Instagram

As I made my way over to the stage where the Ironman Naturally competition was being held, I walked past the Met-Rx booth. I glanced at the booth, glanced away, and then glanced back again. It took me a minute but my brain finally processed that I was staring directly at the current Ms. Figure Olympia Nicole Wilkins! I pulled out my phone and tried to be as sneaky as possible while lifting it up to take her picture. She looked right at me, laughed a little bit, then asked "Do you want to take a selfie??" DO I WANT TO TAKE A SELFIE?!?!?! While I wanted to jump up and down like a crazed fan, I calmly told her that I would love to take a selfie. Priceless moment!

Pro-Tan was right behind the seating area for the competition -
perfect location :)

The  competition color/tanner I use.
Yes...I use tanner....lol...

When you get up to walk the expo, you lose your
seat in the front for the Bodyspace Spokesmodel finals :(

Winners of the Bodybuilding.com Bodyspace Spokesmodel Search
photo credit

Over the course of the day, I watched the prejuding and finals portions of the Ironman Naturally competition. I also had the opportunity to watch the Bodybuilding.com Bodyspace Spokesmodel finals. Both competitions made me itch for the stage. The music, the Pro-Tan, the glaze, the posing. I missed it all as I sat in the crowd.

I have no idea what I was saying....
but I'm obviously I'm excited...lol

OMG! Krissy Chin!

In between competitions, I did a few more laps around the expo. I made my way back to the Nubreed booth because I needed to stock up and guess what?? As I'm walking by, I hear a voice yell "MrsFitLibrarian!" I turned and recognized one of the Nubreed guys that I met at Europa. We started chatted and while I was  paying attention to what he was saying, I could see that Krissy Chin was working the booth! I made a comment about Nubreed being smart to make her one of their sponsored athletes and next thing I know, I'm standing next to Krissy Chin - chatting with her - and posing for a picture!

From my Twitter

Jody showing them what a beast looks like!

Tasty samples!

The expo also had a "Healthy Living Pavilion" where various presenters had food demonstrations. I've never taken the time to attend a food demo so I decided that I would definitely do it this time around. Jody and I attended a demo by Dymatize and they started the demo by asking who wanted to be in a "flex off". Jody walked up with no fear, busted out her guns, and walked away with a box of Supreme Protein Bars! #winning

The expo in full swing!

Ms. Bikini Olympia Ashley Kaltwasser
*she told me to make sure to use flash for all of my pics! :)

CT Fletcher!! ISYMFS!

By 6:00 pm, I was still very excited but exhausted! I decided that it was probably a great time to head out. I knew that Sunday would also be a full day and I wanted to make sure I had enough energy to make it through it. :)

Walking home...

I'm pretty sure that as I walked back to Jonathan's apartment, I had a giant grin on my face. I would have never imagined that I would be doing this. This being driving to L.A. by myself....attending an expo on behalf of a large influential company...meeting people that I look up to and admire...exploring downtown L.A. on my own....

What an adventure.

And this was only day 1!

Mind Games...

I have always been hard on myself. I have, for the most part, felt like I was "average" when it came to certain things. One of these being competing.

I am making the following statement without a shred of cockiness (I am merely stating facts) - I have done very well during my last 3 years on stage. I have won my class twice, one overall win, and seven top five placings. However, I still feel like an underdog. Like I'm not quite at the level I need to be in order to be a contender. Like I'm average. Like I have more weaknesses versus strengths in terms of my physique.

In my "More Than A Month!?!?" post I mentioned that during this off-season, I am working on, not only my physical well-being, but my mental well-being as well. During one of my earlier text exchanges with the Boss Lady, she told me "A healthy mind leads the way". She and I have discussed on numerous occasions how I tend to let my negative, self-deprecating thoughts take over and cloud my vision. The Boss Lady explained to me that in order to be my best self, I had to start working on changing my mindset and clear my head of negative thoughts.


I decided that I wanted to read a book that could help me figure out why I tend to be so critical of myself. Why to I get in my own way when it comes to making goals and pursuing them.

I found this book while searching my library's catalog and at first I was going to pass on it because it was only available in audiobook format. Then I decided that I would check it out and I would listen to it to and from the gym. It turned out to be a great decision.

photo credit

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One it helped me wake up and get ready for my workout. Two it helped me really think about what was going on in my life, the decisions I've made, the chances I have & haven't taken, etc. I now joke that I worship at the Church of Jen Sincero. She has really changed my life. This book is definitely librarian approved - read/listen to it if you can!!

Awhile back, Tom found this incredible video on youtube and played it for me. I instantly fell in love with it and told him I wanted to figure out a way to put it on my workout playlist. The man worked his magic and converted it, along with a couple of other videos, into mp3 files that I could add to my playlists.

And one of my all-time favorites:

 

One of the men that you hear speaking in the first two videos is Eric Thomas aka ET. The man is incredible. I feel like every time I listen to him, I can conquer the world. I downloaded his app and listen to him constantly.

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He really makes me want to do better - train harder - fight for more - aspire to be greater. His words breathe life into me every time I hear them.

I am learning how important it is to fill my heart and my mind with positive thoughts and people. While it may seem weird to others, this is what is working for me. This is what is helping me realize, like Jen says, that I am the only Tenecia there will ever be....and that I'm kind of a big deal. I get to perceive my reality so why would I choose to perceive myself as anything other than a super huge rock star of a person?

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