Be Nice!!

A couple of weeks ago I stumbled upon a blog post that, for lack of a better description, punched me in the face.

I feel like the post was waiting for me and when I clicked the title, it did this......

The post is from Crop Tops and Kale (ummm...best name ever!) and is entitled "On Calling Ourselves Ugly". I'm not going to give a book report on the post because you NEED (see what I did there? I used capitalization and the bold option. That means it's very very very important) to read it for yourself. The title pretty much sums it up.

I am very careful about saying that I'm fat or that I need to lose weight in front of The Princess. I have made a conscious effort, especially these last few years, to limit the amount of self negative talk that I engage in when she is around. I want her to love her body and be proud of the skin she is in but how can she do that if her mother doesn't teach her how to?

The Princess and I!

Want to know what I'm not careful about? In the words of D-Money, the post's author, talking shit about my looks. I am guilty of saying not so nice things about the way I look.Why? I don't really know. I've always done it. Truthfully, I always felt like I was the ugly duckling in the family. I mean...I think any female would have a complex growing up with a sister and mom who look like this!

There's a joke in my family about a time when a boy I liked said to me "I think your sister's pretty" and with that line, he crushed my dreams of calling him my boyfriend. And while I can chuckle about it now, it still stings a little bit. This was not the first, nor would it be the last, time someone made a comment about my sister, co-worker, friend, being more attractive than me.

I have a five, not fore, head. I constantly scrutinize my pictures. I don't like the way I look when I laugh. My nose looks like a bell pepper. I have chipmunk cheeks. I look like a boy. I need more eyebrows. My lips could be plumper. My face is shaped weird.  What's up with the bags under my eyes? Why isn't my face "softer"? I wish I had that good hair. Damn, I look like a dude.

I should have put quotation marks before and after each of those sentences because those are things that I say to or about myself. How nice of me, right?

Now, let me be clear on something. I'm not writing this post so people will feel sorry for me or tell me how pretty they think I am. I'm writing this post because I'm a grown ass woman who needs to let those ridiculous comments go and focus on learning to love myself.

photo credit

D-Money wrote "When we continuously think and say mean things to ourselves, we eventually start to believe them." and it makes no sense to be so mean and cruel to ourselves.

I may not be a Beyonce or Gabrielle Union but you know what?

I'm me...gloriously ridiculous, goofy, awkward, smartass, klutzy, intelligent, nerdy, slightly attractive (hey...it's the best I can do right now...don't judge me...I'm working on it...lol) me.

I can live with that!

More Than A Month!?!?

My last post was on November 25th!! How did I let so much time go by before doing a post?!? I have no excuses to give...but I do have pictures....so how 'bout I share those in a minute?!?

Life has been good to me. I am a happy healthy girl. I really have no complaints.

I plan to share with you some of the new songs on my Playlist of Power aka my workout playlist. And later in the week, I want to talk about my off-season and how I'm working on, not only my physical, but also my mental well-being.

Until then, here are some pictures to, in a way, update you on what's been going on in my life!

*you can also stay updated with my almost daily shenanigans on Instagram --> MrsFitLibrarian

My friend Savannah and I attended a local powerlifting competition

You can still purchase calendars from Firefighters vs Autisum

Supporting my brother-in-law Josue aka Honey as he rode in the
107 mile El Tour de Tucson

The Mister was home for Thanksgiving! Last Thanksgiving
we spent together was almost 3 years ago!

Pretty sure my niece Nya's leg warmers are the cutest thing ever!

Nya and I enjoying a pedicure during our Girls' Day Out :)

A night out with one of my best friends

Lolo's Chicken & Waffles always makes me do my happy wiggle

You know I love my Peeps <3

Yep. I wore this. To work. On Christmas Eve.

Uncle Tommy & Jaxon having fun on Family Picture Day :)

The Princess is growing up too fast! I can't stand it! 

Remember That One Time..?

Back in May, I posted about a photo shoot for a Firefighters Wives calendar that I had recently participated in. I shared with you some of the "behind-the-scenes" pictures that my sister-in-law had taken as well as sharing some "nuggets" of information that I had learned from the shoot like "Jan Tana Hi-Def Glaze isn't only for figure competitions" and "Showin' your ass in public is always more fun when you have your crazy sister-in-law and husband with you". 

* if you missed the post, you can read here--> It Was For Charity

Well, I have another nugget of information to share with you.....

THE CALENDAR IS HERE!

I have been impatiently patiently waiting to see which of my photos was selected for the calendar, which month I am, and how everyone else's photos came out! When I saw on Facebook that pre-orders were officially being taken, I submitted mine....and waited....! Last week, I came home from work and there it sat. The envelope containing my calendar order!

My sister-in-law's reaction to my calendar picture :)

I'm very happy to announce that I am Mrs. July 2015...lol...and the picture that was chosen didn't make my parents cringe too much :)

Last week, I had the opportunity to promote the calendar on a local radio station with Justin (founder of Firefighters vs. Autism) and one of the firefighters that posed for the men's calendar. It was a lot of fun and of course, I was asked about working out and if I was flexing in my calendar picture. I made some remark about how hard it was to suck in my stomach, flex, take shallow breaths, and attempt to give the camera "the eye". The radio interview was a lot of fun and I'm really happy that my work schedule allowed me to participate!

Yes...he was just as gorgeous in person... *drool*

Being involved in this project from the photo shoot to now promoting the finished product has been amazing and incredibly humbling. This organization is made up of firefighters and families who have made it their mission to do what they can to educate others about the dangers of wandering & drowning that are highly common among those within the Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). The fact that Justin and Jason (photographer) felt that I could contribute in some way to this project & mission is still astounding to me!

I would love it if each of you considered purchasing a calendar, whether it's the Firefighters or the Firefighters' Wives version (but let's be honest....this is really the one you want...lol) or if the calendars aren't really your thing, you can always send in a donation!

And you don't even have to ask....yes....I'm willing to sign your calendars..... ;)

It Was For Charity!

A few months ago my friend Susie posted on my Facebook timeline that a particular charity was looking for firefighter wives to pose for a 2015 calendar. Before I could really think things through, I contacted the person who put out the call for models and told him that I would like to be considered if they still needed models. A short time later, he emailed me back and said they would love for me to be a part of the calendar.

WHAT THE...!?!?!

Pose for a calendar?!?! What was I thinking??!?!

I received a message from the photographer and we set up a time to meet & go over the "logistics".  Jason (the photographer) was super cool and we both seemed to have the same idea about the type of shoot we would do. It's funny to answer questions like "How much skin are you comfortable showing?"  and "Is this pose sexy or slutty to you?" but Jason wanted to ensure that I would be comfortable with every aspect of the shoot. We made a decision about the date of the shoot and off I went. I would be a liar if I said that I didn't second guess my decision every day occasionally but I kept telling myself "It's for charity!".

I've never shot for a calendar before so I wasn't really sure what to buy so I went on "shopping sprees" at H & M, Target, and Frederick's.

Posted this on Instagram and asked for opinions

COVER YOUR EYES!!!
I had to apologize to Crissy & buy her eyedrops after sending her pictures like this one!

My poor sister-in-law. I was constantly blowing up her phone with pictures of me trying on possible outfits (I use that term loosely! lol!). I am so not the "sexy" type so I definitely needed someone else's opinion about what a model would wear!

I also sent my purchases with Jason and he replied back with "You must love to shop!" to which I replied
"....umm...mmmayyyybbbeee....don't judge me!" He told me which outfit he liked the best but also told me to bring a couple of my favorites as well.

The day before the shoot, I was ridiculously nervous. What if I looked like a hot mess? What if all of my pictures looked like a pile of poo? What if? What if? What if? But I knew there was really nothing I could do at this point except park myself in the bed, rest, and get ready to get nekked in public!

We (Tom, my sister-in-law Crissy, and I) headed over to Jason's tattoo shop early Saturday morning so I could meet his wife Lexy, who would be doing my makeup. Jason also wanted to see my outfits in person and make any last changes to wardrobe, locations, etc.

Lexy was super friendly and cool and she made it easy for me to relax & let her do her thing (or was that the moonshine??). Before I knew it she was done and it was time to head downtown and start shooting.

Time to get naked!
*love Tom's face...lol...*

Not going to lie - my butt looks pretty awesome in this shot!
Yay squats & deadlifts! 

Reppin' my Iron Gals gear! 

Getting posing directions - I needed ALL the help I could get!

This may not make it into the calendar but
it's definitely one of my favorites!

I'm not going to go into every small detail about what happened during the shoot but there are a few things I would like to share:

• You still get hot & a little sweaty even when you're wearing a lace bra and thong
• Bicycle riders may have difficulty focusing on the road and may come close to crashing their bikes if they see a half-naked women laying on some rocks
• When the photographer tells you that you're shooting in a "low traffic area", double check that there isn't a Blues Festival taking place adjacent to said low traffic area
• Jan Tana Hi-Def Glaze isn't only for figure competitions
• Showin' your ass in public is always more fun when you have your crazy sister-in-law and husband with you
• Photo shoots can be summed up using two phrases and they are "I woke up like this!" and "Get naked! Remember, it's for charity!"

After the photo shoot, the three us of grabbed something to eat and then headed to my in-laws house. Of course, we toasted to the shoot - waking up like this - my upcoming competition - the sun shining - and anything else you can think of. It's how we do!

Once I have been given the word that the calendars are for sale, I will definitely share that information you guys. Please save your allowance so you can buy one - it's for a great cause!

Thank you to Justin for feeling like I was worthy, not only of being in the calendar but part of this incredible project. Thank you to Jason for dealing with all of my ridiculousness, making me feel like I could actually take a great picture, and just being an awesome guy. Thank you to Susie for thinking of me when you saw the call for models (even if I still think you're crazy...lol!). A H-U-G-E thank you to Crissy for dealing with my texts, helping me keep my sanity, and supporting me like you always do. Thank you to my family for not judging me for being naked...AGAIN :)

And last but not least, much love & thanks to my mister for last minute snack shopping, slapping on my glaze, helping me put on the turnouts, and making me feel like I was going to be the hottest wife in the calendar!

And I'll leave you with a photo that is more my style....more the every day Tenecia if you will....just a nerdy, goofy, muscley librarian ;)

Let's Wrap This Up!

What a month January is proving to be!! Unfortunately, 2014 isn't off to an amazing-wonderful-positive start but you know what, I'm still standing & breathing so I'll take it!!! Speaking of breathing, I caught cooties from some place and was down for the count for a couple of weeks. Tom finally convinced me to go to the Minute Clinic and they gave me some antibiotics. I'm feeling much better and of course Tom is gloating because he was right about me being sicker than I thought. Men! :)

I have still been getting questions about if I'm currently in prep and/or what shows I'm doing this year. As of right this second (lol!), I'm not in prep and have not decided on any 2014 competitions. Am I still feeling the same way I was in my Sorting Things Out post? Yes and no....I'm taking things slowly....listening to my body...listening to my heart. With all of that said, I have cleaned up my diet a bit (bye bye, weekday breakfast burritos and mint M&Ms...womp womp) in the event that I have to start prep almost immediately. I have still been going to the gym and while I can tell that I'm not quite back to 100% (damn you cooties!!), I feel happy and strong during my workouts.

While I'm ready for this month to wrap up and a new one to start, I keep thinking about the fortune I received (pictured above). What is this pleasant experience?? Could it be Girl Scout cookie season?!?! Could it be applying to and being accepted to a new graduate program?? Could it be winning the lottery?? I guess I'll have to wait and see :)

You Might Be In Off-Season If....

You might be in off-season if.....

1. You insist on calling it an "improvement season" versus "off-season"
2. When gorging on cookies, candy, tamales, pancakes, and carne asada fries, you calmly inform people that you are "eating to grow"

   

   photo credit

3. A daily check of your abs is necessary....just to ensure that you're not "growing" too much
4. You want to roll your eyes & scream every time someone asks when your next show is
5. You only want to roll your eyes & scream because you don't know when your next show is due to number 2 on this list
6. You pee your pants a little bit each time your coach tells you to bring your competition suit & heels to your next training session so he can "see where you're at"

   

   
   

7. Your favorite hashtags are #getallthegains, #eattogrow, #beastmode, #2014istheyear, and #fatkidstatus

   

   
   

8. You will get up before the sun rises to go to the gym but getting up early for any other reason is just crazy talk