Monday, March 9, 2015

Be Nice!!

A couple of weeks ago I stumbled upon a blog post that, for lack of a better description, punched me in the face.

I feel like the post was waiting for me and when I clicked the title, it did this......

The post is from Crop Tops and Kale ( name ever!) and is entitled "On Calling Ourselves Ugly". I'm not going to give a book report on the post because you NEED (see what I did there? I used capitalization and the bold option. That means it's very very very important) to read it for yourself. The title pretty much sums it up.

I am very careful about saying that I'm fat or that I need to lose weight in front of The Princess. I have made a conscious effort, especially these last few years, to limit the amount of self negative talk that I engage in when she is around. I want her to love her body and be proud of the skin she is in but how can she do that if her mother doesn't teach her how to?

The Princess and I!

Want to know what I'm not careful about? In the words of D-Money, the post's author, talking shit about my looks. I am guilty of saying not so nice things about the way I look.Why? I don't really know. I've always done it. Truthfully, I always felt like I was the ugly duckling in the family. I mean...I think any female would have a complex growing up with a sister and mom who look like this!

There's a joke in my family about a time when a boy I liked said to me "I think your sister's pretty" and with that line, he crushed my dreams of calling him my boyfriend. And while I can chuckle about it now, it still stings a little bit. This was not the first, nor would it be the last, time someone made a comment about my sister, co-worker, friend, being more attractive than me.

I have a five, not fore, head. I constantly scrutinize my pictures. I don't like the way I look when I laugh. My nose looks like a bell pepper. I have chipmunk cheeks. I look like a boy. I need more eyebrows. My lips could be plumper. My face is shaped weird.  What's up with the bags under my eyes? Why isn't my face "softer"? I wish I had that good hair. Damn, I look like a dude.

I should have put quotation marks before and after each of those sentences because those are things that I say to or about myself. How nice of me, right?

Now, let me be clear on something. I'm not writing this post so people will feel sorry for me or tell me how pretty they think I am. I'm writing this post because I'm a grown ass woman who needs to let those ridiculous comments go and focus on learning to love myself.

photo credit
D-Money wrote "When we continuously think and say mean things to ourselves, we eventually start to believe them." and it makes no sense to be so mean and cruel to ourselves.

I may not be a Beyonce or Gabrielle Union but you know what?

I'm me...gloriously ridiculous, goofy, awkward, smartass, klutzy, intelligent, nerdy, slightly attractive ('s the best I can do right now...don't judge me...I'm working on me.

I can live with that!


  1. Thank you for sharing! I am so guilty of negative self talk. I always always watch what I say about myself around my children but I can always do better about what I say and think about myself. Again thank you for sharing!

  2. Love the baby pictures. You are right, we need to be nice and stop gossip and negative talk