Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Junk in the Trunk!

I wanted to share two really great blog posts that talk about working/tightening/firming your glutes aka your junk in the trunk!


Healthy Glutes on Fit, Fun & Delish

Top 10 Exercises for a Better Butt on MotherFitness


I can't wait to incorporate some of the exercises Ana & Kellie provide to tigthen up my bootay! :)

If you have any exercises that you would like share, please do!!

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

So...Umm...I Lied....


I will explain why I'm a liar in just a sec. First, let's talk about the picture above. Yes, those are my Tootsie Roll colored chicken legs...lol...with my new Bikilas!!! Tom bought them for me for Christmas and today was the first day I used them in the gym. Loved them! And I think they're kinda cute....laugh if you want....but they are!

Now for the explanation...remember yesterday's post where I said that I was going to give AZ NPC shows a break?? Well, turns out I lied about that! I received an email today and there will be a NPC show in Tucson in July. It's being called the NPC Terminator Championships. And you know what that means....that means there will be a show in my backyard so I HAVE to do it! I'm really excited because Chelsea might do the show as well. Can't wait!

My Bikilas and I hit up legs today and this is what took place:


Superset:
V-Squat 90 x 15 140 x 15 190 x 15
Weighted lunges 20 x 12 (3 sets)

Superset:
Hack squat 90 x 20 140 x 18 160 x 15
Leg curl 65 x 20 80 x 18 95 x 15

Step-ups (on bench) 30 x 12/12 (3 sets)
Deadlifts 115 x 12 (2 sets) 185 x 10 (2 sets)

Curtsy lunges (with barbell) 45 x 8/8 (3 sets)

New Release Tuesday

I'm not a huge country music fan but I really enjoy Sugarland's music. I received their latest cd "The Incredible Machine" as a Christmas gift and it's really good!

The first song on the cd is "All We Are" - Jennifer's voice is extraordinary - take a listen and let me know what you think.


Monday, December 27, 2010

Did You Think I Forgot About You?!?!

I'm back and ready to blog my lil heart out! :) My Christmas was wonderful! I was able to spend time with my family, eat lots of good food, and watch my daughter's face light up at any given moment! Love the holidays! I hope that your's was enjoyable as well!!

You know what else I love??!?! Walgreen's having its Christmas candy on sale yesterday!! And you know what that means! Bags and bags of candy cane kisses, mint truffle kisses, and mint m&ms now reside in my refrigerator....but not for long....lol...

I did manage to go to the gym today...despite not having my ipod! I hate not having my workout companion but I managed to make it through ok. Today's shoulder workout was made up of:

Lateral raises 20 x 20 25 x 17 30 x 15
Shrugs (with dumbbells & 10 second hold) 50 x 5 55 x 5 60 x 5 65 x 5
Bent-over lateral raises 15 x 15 (2 sets) 20 x 12 (2 sets)
Barbell upright row 65 x 10 (2 sets) 75 x10 (2 sets) 85 x 10
Push press 50 x 8 (2 sets) 60 x 8 (2 sets) 70 x 5 (2 sets)
I should tell you guys that I've picked a date for my next show....I'm going to do a show in California and give Arizona a break for a bit....prep will officially start next week! That should be interesting....I mean....I have 9 bags of candy to consume in addition to some bottles of Moscato D'Asti to guzzle before then....I guess I better get started!!! :)

Friday, December 24, 2010

I'm Not One of The Three Wise Men

No gifts of gold, frankincense, or myrrh for you but I do come bearing gifts! Three things I know you will enjoy!!

1) Double Chocolate Peppermint Cookies - I don't know how I found the blog How Sweet It Is but my inner fat girl is so happy I did! The Princess and I made these cookies last night and they were so fanfreakingtastic! Make a batch, pour yourself a drink, and just enjoy the madness that is the holiday season!

2) You Don't Know Jacques by OPI - the best nail polish color to have. Seriously. Even if you don't think dark colors look good on you, you MUST try this color. You can thank me later.

3) Ruben Studdard's version of This Christmas - I love myself some Donny Hathaway. The original version of This Christmas was my favorite until I heard Ruben sing the song. His velvety smooth voice is perfection and the exact reason why I believe only certain people should be allowed to sing Christmas songs (and I'm not referring to you, Britney Spears or Chris Brown!). Watch the video and tell me I'm wrong!!! :)



I'm taking the next couple of days off to celebrate Christmas with the ones I love. I wish you & yours a wonderful-merry-happy whatever holiday you celebrate! :)

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Workin' My Legs & Bloggin' Skills!

I hit up legs yesterday...didn't really want to but I knew I wasn't going to get to the gym in days to come so...off I went! Workout consisted of:

Leg press 190 x 25 280 x 20 370 x 15
Leg curl 80 x 15 (3 sets)
Plie squats 65 x 12 70 x 12 75 x 12 80 x 12
Leg extensions 90 x 22 100 x 18 110 x 15 (2 sets)
Stiff-legged deadlifts 115 x 20 135 x 15 155 x 12 155 x 10
Standing calf raises (with 35 lb plate in each hand) 4 sets of 20

I'm definitely sore today and I like it :) Today, I did a 2.5 mile run and a yoga workout a co-worker recorded for me. It's called Inhale and it's from the Oxygen channel. Have any of you seen it?

I received my first Christmas gift in the mail today!!! The newest issue of Muscle & Fitness Hers!!! When Tom asked me what I wanted for Christmas, that was the first thing I said! I love it when he pays attention to what I say....lol....

Kellie, who I met on siouxcountry and then face-to-face at my last show, has a great blog called Mother Fitness. I had the opportunity to write a guest post entitled Creating the Balance and Making It Work....check it out and let me know what you think!!

That's What's Up Thursday

Look at her - do I even need to say anything?!?!?
Jackie Hoppe - now that's what's up!!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

New Release Tuesday

This week's new release isn't technically "new" but I was going through my cds over the weekend and rediscovered this band!

Hope you enjoy it!


Monday, December 20, 2010

Break is OVA'!!!

The gym and I were on a "break"...long story....but we realized how much we loved each other and we're back on!!! :) Today's back workout consisted of:


Assisted pull-ups 110 x 12 (3 sets)

Single arm high cable pulldown 60 x 15/15 (3 sets)

HammerStrength iso-lateral low row 70 x 20 90 x 20 110 x 15 (2 sets)

Wide grip lat pulldown 90 x 25 105 x 20 120 x 15 (2 sets)

Superset:

Barbell bent-over row 95 x 8 115 x 8 135 x 6 (2 sets)

Deadlifts 95 x 8 115 x 8 135 x 6 (2 sets)

I didn't realize that the testoterone (aka the guys who work out at the same time I do) paid any attention to me. That sounds weird but let me explain.When I arrived at the gym this afternoon, one of the guys I often see around came up to me and said hello. He asked how I was doing and if I planned to do another show. He also made the comment that he wondered if I was sick or something because I hadn't been coming to the gym. I chuckled and told him that the truth was I had been lazy and just skipping out on my workouts. I just thought it was funny that he noticed I hadn't been coming in....maybe it's not that strange...I am the only Gym Don't that is there during the lunch hour! ;)

Saturday, December 18, 2010

A Gift From Bikini Wannabe!!

Chelsea (aka Bikini Wannabe) is a good friend of mine and she sent me a little sumthin'!!! Now, who doesn't want to wear a shirt that says "Fucking Fabulous"...cuz I know I do!!! Maybe I'll wear it grocery shopping tomorrow or I can always wear it when I drop The Princess off at school...lol! :)

Friday, December 17, 2010

Poo On My Shoe!!

One of the items on my Christmas wish list was a competition suit by Caron Hospedales. Yesterday, Genie sent me a link to a suit that Caron was selling on divaexchange.com and I instantly fell in love. But I didn’t want to get excited about something that didn’t compliment my skin tone so I emailed Genie and asked “Would I look completely ridiculous 4 shades darker tryin’ to rock a gold suit?” Her answer was no so I proceeded to email Caron expressing interest in purchasing the suit. Turns out that the suit had already been sold and I was left feeling like I had just stepped in a pile of poo!!! I want a new suit but I’m a lady on a budget…I’m just not comfortable spending $500 on a suit…why doesn’t my bank account have an endless supply of money in it?!?!

I also need that endless supply of money to purchase two pairs of shoes I saw at the mall on Wednesday night. Seriously, I saw a pair of Steve Maddens and I literally gasped out loud! And the Jessica Simpsons!!! Don’t even get me started!!! My love of shoes is ridiculous…lol!!




I’m thinking about changin’ up my look for 2011....I need a new ‘do…maybe some pink weave like Nicki Minaj (right, Genie???)…or the near bald look like Amber Rose? Maybe I should do my hair like my alter-ego BonQuiQui (if you haven’t seen this MadTV sketch, go to youtube and watch it now!!!) I want to start the new year off feelin’ sassy!!!

Anyone else changing their look next year?

Thursday, December 16, 2010

That's What's Up Thursday

There needs to be more Black pro competitors and they need to look like this woman!!!

Tanji Johnson -now that's what's up!!!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

New Release Tuesday

This is another incredible song from Linkin Park's latest cd. It was one of the songs I was immediately drawn to the first time I listened to the cd!

P.S. Is it me or there something kinda sexy about the lead singer Chester?? :)



Monday, December 13, 2010

Just One of Those Days

“It’s just one of those days…that a girl goes through…when I’m empty inside…” I’m bustin’ out with the old school Monica today…it’s my theme song for the day…two things have been really bothering me today… I present to you Thing 1 and Thing 2…

1) I think I might be getting sick. I’ve been feeling a little “off” the past couple of days. My head is pounding and my throat is starting to hurt. I took a Zicam so let’s cross our fingers that it gets rid of my cooties! P.S. If I get sick after being given a flu shot, I will be one crabby biotch!
2) I’ve been looking at pictures of competitors that compete in Class E (which is the class I was placed in my shows) and…umm…yeah…bring on the self-doubt. It’s crossed my mind numerous times today that I’m being too ambitious. I mean, these girls are about the same height as me, weigh at least 20-25 lbs less than I do, and are placing in the top 5. I’m not sure if I can do what it takes to drop that kind of weight and be competitive.

Blah! I hate feelin’ out of whack or like my mojo has decided to go into hiding but I’m not one for bs so I won’t pretend like I don’t have these days.

My plan of action is to stop looking at competitor’s pictures! Instead of motivating me, it’s just taken a wreaking ball to my self-confidence. Next, I’m going to put my jammies on & lay on the couch (after I iron for tomorrow & take care of a couple of other things). I had plans to go to spinning tonight but I think I need to skip it. I’ve looked at the class schedule and I can catch a late class on Thursday night.

If all else fails, I’ll take shot of whiskey…lol!!

Hope you’re having a great day!!

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Just Call Me "Spinderella"!!

This past Friday I joined my sister Reecie, brother-in-law Josue, and his friend from work for DJ Spin at O2 Modern Fitness! It was the studio's one year anniversary and after our class we participated in a champagne toast and were also able to visit the studio's new space that has been built for their Applied Fitness program. The new space is so cool and I can't wait to learn more about this new program. Reecie and Josue laughed at me because as soon as we walked in I squealed, "Kettlebells!!!!". It's the little things that excite me...lol!


I had never been to spinning before but was offered one week of free classes through my employer's Employee Wellness program. Josue is a cyclist and has competed in the El Tour de Tucson several times. He uses spinning as part of his training regimen and I knew that he wouldn't mind going with me so I wouldn't be the only newbie in the class!


After checking out the class schedule, we decided to attend the DJ Spin class that is offered once a month. It's an hour long spinning class but the twist is there is a live DJ, lights are dimmed, and the disco ball comes out! It was the perfect class to ease me into spinning. One class we attended has an African drumming group instead of a DJ and it was AWESOME!!! The pounding of the drums plus the resistance of the bike weaved with the spoken journey our instructor took us on was nothing short of amazing!


O2 Modern Fitness is the only spinning studio in Tucson but you know what, they're not just offering spinning classes. They also offer Pilates, Yoga, and Meditation. I'm really excited about taking more classes...I've fallen in love with Mike who is one of the instructors....he's just the right amount of motivation with a side of brutal! My off-season plan was to try new forms of training and have fun while doing it so I'm going to start taking his spinning + bootcamp class on Monday nights. I think this just might be the way to help me get those lean quads and hammies I put on my Christmas wish list!


So...if you live in Tucson or come here for a visit, stop by O2!! Maybe we can even go to a class together!!

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Moti-What?!?!?


As you may or may not have noticed, I’m not one for bull$hit! I’d rather have the gritty painful truth than soft fluffy crap! LOL!!

With that said, let’s acknowledge the fact that it can be difficult to become AND stay motivated! For example, it’s a bit hard for me right now to stay motivated to maintain my clean eating habits because it’s the holidays (hello candy canes, booze, and baked goods!) and I don’t have a looming show date!

But there are ways that I jump-start my motivation juices and I thought I would share them with you.

The first is quotes. Words are POWERFUL! Think about it. Have you ever read something that just clicked? Today, I read a quote courtesy of my dear friend Chelsea that she posted as her facebook status. The quote was,

“Only the strong survive, but the strong still get their ass whipped.” -Nick Saban

And boom…there it was…clarity. Yes, I consider myself to be a strong woman (both physically and mentally) but you know what? I received a whoopin’ at my last two shows! So, I may think that I’m strong but I’m not so strong that I can’t be beaten! I will cut out quotes and tape them to the area right above my computer at work so I can see them anytime I look up!

Another tool that I use is pictures. I turned my day planner from last year into a motivation book. It is filled with pictures of women who motivate me to be a better me! I also have pictures taped to the walls in my bathroom and the refrigerator. These pictures are a nice kick in the butt when I’m feeling lazy. They tell me that these women have put in the work and effort to improve their bodies and I can’t do the same if I don’t get off my butt!

My last tool is flashbacks! Let me explain. I flashback to days when The Princess says something that makes me proud of who I’ve become in the last year or someone has made a comment about how I’ve helped them reach their goals. One morning while we were getting ready for school, The Princess reached over and squeezed my bicep. After about a minute of squeezing, she looked at me and said “Mommy, I like that you have muscles. You’re so strong!” I think I smiled all day after hearing that!

So, those are my go-to tools to rev up my motivation juices…what about you? What tools do you use?

That's What's Up Thursday


Beautiful arms! I love that she always looks classy & beautiful with a bit of "Do you see my arms?? I will kick yo' ass!" :)
Angela Bassett - now that's what's up!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

New Release Tuesday

You MUST play this song at the highest volume possible!!! It's that good!!!

Monday, December 6, 2010

All I Want For Christmas

The lovely Donloree at Bikini or Bust put together a list of what some of the ladies in her Bikini or Bust Challenge wanted for Christmas. I posted a comment on her All I Want For Christmas post and she encouraged me to join in the fun so....I present to you...my Christmas wish list!
  • Ryan Reynolds - I'm salivating just typing his name. Need I say more?!?!
  • '67 GTO - a bad ass girl deserves a bad ass ride!
  • Erin Stern's body - she's perfection and I wanna be like her!
  • Courtney West's body - my plan B in case I don't get Erin's body!
  • To become a Public Librarian - if Santa brought me the librarian job I've been dreamin' of since I graduated with my masters in Library Science almost 3 years ago, I just might crap my pants!!!
  • Competition suit by Caron Hospedales - her suits are so gorgeous and I REALLY want to step on stage in one!
  • Lean, musclar quads & hammies!
  • Qualify for a national show - just gimme a top 5 placing, please!!!
  • Intensity, drive, focus, and motivation - Can't get through a prep and receive a top placing without them!

Please note that the last five items are legitimate wish items....but that's not saying I wouldn't be very grateful if Santa brought me the other items on the list!!! :)

What's on your Christmas wish list? And don't give me some b.s. answer like "Peace on Earth"...I want you to be as superficial as me ;)

Sunday, December 5, 2010

I Lost My Virginity!

One of my best friends asked me if I wanted to go with him to Costco this morning. Now, I've heard stories about how awesome Costco is but I've never shopped there. I mean...I've never felt the need to buy things in bulk...I live within walking distance of Wal-Mart, the $.99 store, and Walgreens so if I run out of something, I don't have to go far to get it. But, he & I hadn't hung out in awhile and I figured what could it hurt. It was time for me to lose my Costco virginity :)

Umm....Costco is MADNESS!!!! There were so many things I wanted to buy...I couldn't make decisions....people were lining up for samples of free food...a bird flew over my head while I was trying to decide if I wanted the Spiced Chai Latte mix...I saw a chocolate cake that was as big as my head....Crown Royal was $35 for the Super Size bottle....yes, Costco was an adventure and I want more!!!

I didn't go crazy and bought only necessities like sweet potatoes and Lawry's Seasoned Salt ...and yes, the dark chocolate pomegranate bites I purchased are a necessity!! :)

Now, I'm curled up in my bed wearing my reindeer ears and enjoying a candy cane! Hope you're enjoying your Sunday!!!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Only Acceptable Shuffle is the Cupid Shuffle!

If y'all don't already know, Genie is my GOD!!! I'm dead serious when I say this!! She is a warrior, a motivator, and can quote Tupac song lyrics at the drop of a dime - you can see why I love her!! :)

Anyway, she and I were having a conversation about life being a bitch and how you have to forge ahead despite the trials & tribulations you might be experiencing. Genie made a comment about the fact that she was forging ahead...it might be a shuffle but she was still movin'! I replied that the only acceptable shuffle was the Cupid Shuffle and I "sang" a few of the song lyrics to her.

Fact is, life is TOUGH for all us. Sometimes it's more than you think you can handle but I'm lookin' you dead in the eye and telling you, "No one likes a quitter!". It might feel like it's taking every last bit of your strength to keep moving forward but don't stop movin'. And if all you can manage is a shuffle, that's fine....but remember....the only acceptable shuffle is the Cupid Shuffle!

P.S. If you don't know how to do it, turn up your speakers and watch the video!


Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Bathing in Icy Hot!!

So remember the other day when I mentioned that my legs were going to be sore after the leg workout I did. Yea....well...to say that my legs are sore is an understatement!!! I'm so sore it hurts even when I don't move!! Tom has been getting a chuckle out of the waddle walk I've been doing the last couple of days...lol...but at least I'm still moving! No pain no gain, right?? Sexy, muscular legs are right around the corner....I think ;)

I'm still following Meriza's plan and today's workout focused on delts and back. Tom and I tweaked the workout a little and after I finished my first set, I sent him a text that read "OOOOWWWW!!"...yep....the workout was that good!

Here's what today's workout consisted of:


Superset #1
Shoulder press w/dumbbells
set 1: 15lbs x 25
set 2: 20lbs x 20
set 3-4: 25lbs x 15

Seated Arnold press
set 1-4: 15lbs x 15

Lateral raises
set 1-4: 15lbs x 15

Superset #2
Wide grip lat pulldowns
set 1: 60lbs x 25
set 2: 75lbs x 20
set 3-4: 90lbs x 15

Seated row (close grip)
set 1-4: 90lbs x 20 res

Barbell bent over row
set 1: 65lbs x 15
set 2: 85lbs x 15
set 3-4: 95lbs x 15

One last thing....remember when I said I wasn't going to be stepping on the scale unless it was for check-ins....well....I lied! Ugh!! I stepped on the scale tonight and was surprised (and not in a good way!!) with the number that popped up. Don't worry....Tom scolded me about going against my word and I promised not to do it again!

Now, excuse me while I go bathe in Icy Hot! Momma's legs are hurtin'! :)

Hardbody.com Contest Entry

So....I decided to enter the Hardbody.com "I'm A Hardbody" contest....I don't stand a chance but I thought it would be fun to enter! I was able to view some of the entries on the Hardbody.com facebook page and decided that I didn't want to go with the whole gym/working out/flexing my muscles idea so I went in a completely different direction...lol!


Did anyone else enter the contest?

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Monday, November 29, 2010

Gettin' Back At It...Again!!

I hope that y’all had an enjoyable Thanksgiving! Mine was wonderful with a touch of sadness. It’s definitely hard to lose a loved one right before the holidays but we were able to spend some time with those closest to us and enjoy some yummy food!

There was no guilt accompanied with my food consumption! I thoroughly enjoyed every morsel and I feel no shame in saying that! I am back to “healthier” eating habits today but I can’t make any promises in the coming weeks..lol…I’ve been reading way too many baking blogs!!!

I’m not sure how many of you are members of siouxcountry.com (if you’re not, fix it! You need to be! Best site ever!!) but Meriza DeGuzman (hello, hotness!) posted a circuit for tonin’ up & gettin’ lean. Since my dream team (love them!) has decided that I don’t need to add any more size during the off-season, my goal is to maintain my level of muscularity while staying as lean as I am able. How can I accomplish this…..drumroll please….Meriza’s Circuit Training Plan! I did the portion of the circuit that concentrates on glutes and hammies today and no joke, I walked out of the gym with jello legs! I'm definitely going to be sore tomorrow!! Here’s what it looked like:

Superset #1

Leg Press
set 1: 140 lbs x 250 lb
set 2: 180 lbs x 20
set 3: 230 lbs x 15
set 4: 270 lbs x 10

Lying hamstring curls
set 1-4: 50 lbs x 15

Superset #2

Leg press
set 1-4: 270 lbs x 10

Stiff-legged deadlifts
set 1: 65 lbs x 15
set 2: 75 lbs x 15
set 3: 85 lbs x 15
set 4: 95 lbs x 15

Superset #3

Leg press
set 1-4: 270 lbs x 10

Walking lunges w/dumbbells
set 1-4: 25lbs x 12 steps each leg

Goblet squat w/kettlebell
set 1-3: 26.4 x 12
*I added this last exercise since I had a little time left in my workout

Eating has been on point today – I’m following a plan but it’s not as restrictive as a prep plan. Woo hoo!! :)

My weight is up a little higher than I would like but I’m not going to stress over it. I’ve also made the decision to put away the scale and not weigh myself unless it’s for check-in. I’m going to focus on how my clothes fit versus the numbers I see on the scale (even if I would like to weigh the same & look just like Courtney West or Erin Stern! LOL!). My date jeans still fit so I think I’m doing ok… :)

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Moment of Reflection

Last night there was an unexpected death on my husband's side of the family. It is always hard for me when Tom is hurting and last night was no exception. As I sat with him and other members of his family discussing the life of his incredible great-grandmother, I realized what a blessing family can be. The stories about his great-grandmother were testaments of her faith, her love of family, and her willingness to help those in need.

Loss causes you to take a moment and reflect on your life and I am doing just that. Today is Thanksgiving and I will be sure to thank those that I love, squeeze them tight, and also tell them that I love them. My list of what I'm thankful for is simple but I would like to share it with you.

I am THANKFUL for:
  • Hearing the Princess call me "Mom"
  • Hearing the Princess laugh - the sound is like music to my ears
  • Every day of health that the Princess has been blessed with
  • The ability to fight with Tom one moment and cuddle with him on the couch the next
  • Every day that Tom is able to come home from work to the Princess & I unharmed and in one piece!
  • Love
  • Family who stand by you no matter what they think of you & the decisions you make
  • My body & health
  • True friends
  • Tom's mom creating the phrase "What the $hit?!?!" - sometimes it's the perfect thing to say! :)

I hope that you have a wonderful day with your family and/or friends! Remember to give GENUINE thanks for all that you have received!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

First Day Back!

Yesterday was my first "official" day back to the gym. I was excited and nervous at the same time to get my lift on :) Excited because I missed being at the gym and pushing my body. Nervous because my workouts will be different than I'm used to AND I knew I was going to run into people who would ask me about the show! Everything was fine...answered the whole "How did your show go?" question with relative ease and enjoyed my shoulders with a little bit of chest workout! The workout consisted of:

One arm lateral raises (with dumbbells)
4 sets of 20 reps

Seated Arnold press
1 set of 25 reps, 1 set of 22 reps, 1 set of 20 reps

Superset:
LifeFitness Fly machine
4 sets of 20 reps
Pushups
4 sets of 12

Sky Pulls (with kettlebells)
5 sets of 15

One arm shoulder press (with dumbbells)
1 set of 18 reps, 1 set of 15 reps, 1 set of 12 reps

I'm sore today and I love it! Is that weird?? LOL! Today was a cardio only day...I knocked that out by doing 45 minutes on the Stair Stepper. The time went quickly because I was so focused on the novela (spanish soap opera) that was playing on the tv in front of me...as I've said before....don't judge me...I love my stories! :)

Tomorrow night I'm supposed to workout with a close friend and I have a KILLER back workout for us to do! Can't wait!!

Have a great night!!

New Release Tuesday

I really enjoyed Keri Hilson's last cd. She's confident without being arrogant and sassy without being bitchy. I'm lovin' this new song - I hope you do too!

Monday, November 22, 2010

Speak On It!!

I have been blessed this year by finding a friend in Genie Sammons. Genie has been so helpful & supportive of my attempt to become a figure competitor this past year. She took me under her wing and guided me with tough love, laughter, wisdom, and kindess.

I, along with countless others, have a tendency to pick myself apart. I have been doing a ridiculous amount of tearing me down in these weeks following my show. Yesterday, my mom gave me a reality check about my obsession with my weight and food.

I say all of that to share with you a piece that Genie wrote over the weekend. It's powerful and the message is ON POINT!!

Change of Thought by Genie Sammons 2010

We are not fat
We are not off season
We are not gross

We are enjoying life and improving on body parts that need improvement.
We are healthy and strong and beautiful.
We are working towards our goals.
We are working towards our health.
We work hard because we are worth it and we deserve it.

We love us.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Photo Shoot With Ana C.!!!!

Happy Friday!! It only feels like it took frickin’ FOREVER to get here…lol!! I had posted about my photo shoot a couple of days ago but the post disappeared & I can’t figure out why!! Anyway…if this is your second time reading this, I apologize!!

Do you remember awhile back I mentioned that I would be doing a photo shoot around the time of my show?? Well, I have pictures to share from the shoot!!!

I categorize myself as an awkward, goofy, klutzy, not comfortable in her own skin kind of girl but I have to tell you, I don’t see that when I look at these pictures. Ana has the magic touch and transformed me into…I don’t know…someone completely opposite of who I actually am!!

If you are ever in the Phoenix area and need to have pictures taken, you HAVE to contact her. You can find info about her rates, portfolio, and her goals as your photographer on her website. She also has a great blog entitled Fit, Fun and Delish! that you should check out as well!















Add Some Excitement To Your Life...

Let's be honest...for those of us who drink protein shakes on a regular basis....they can get old! Often times, they're nothing more than protein powder and water (or milk depending on your tastebuds!)...especially if you're competing and you have to keep a close eye on your food intake numbers!

Well, I read a great list of suggestions for adding some spice to your protein shakes while visiting the Fitness & Spice website. The suggestions are simple yet made me go, "Duh! Why didn't I think of that?!?!"

If you have few minutes and are interested in viewing the list, you can find it here.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

That's What's Up Thursday

She has the 3 B's - beauty, boobs, and brawn! I have a HUGE girl crush on her!!!
Serena Williams - now that's what's up!!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

PSA - Must See!

Rachel Wilkerson was brave enough to talk about a topic that is often ignored on her blog earlier this week. Rachel addressed the topic of TRA or T-Rex Arms. I encourage you to view the video posted on her blog and share it with others - together we all can have tickets to the gun show (watch the video and then you'll get it!).

TRA PSA

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Stick A Fork In It!

Yep....stick a fork in it....it's a wrap...over...done with....el fin! My week of excess, that is! As of today, I'm back on the "good girl" wagon! :)

Last week was A LOT of fun!! I ate like there was no tomorrow....case in point, I went to an awesome restaurant that just opened in town....it's called May's Counter....they serve chicken & waffles....the food was so tasty that I not only took a picture of it to send to my friends but I also did my "This is so yummy!" wiggle as I was eating....shall I go on???
So, no more of that gluttonous behavior.....today marks the start of healthy eating and gym dates. I wasn't really feeling the gym today but I knew I wanted to do some type of cardio/workout....enter the one workout that I have loved & hated for the past 10 years....Tae Bo!!!

I couldn't find my vhs tapes...don't even say a word....I saved those bad boys because the workouts were that awesome....so last week I picked up the "This is Tae Bo" dvd at Wal-Mart. This particular dvd is different that the original Tae Bo workouts that I was used to doing but it kicked my butt nonetheless! Don't believe me??? Take a look at me when I finished....


Loved it!! I think I'm going to try and do this workout at least 2 times a week. Which bring me to the whole what am I going to do with my off-season question. I have no idea!!! I think I might be too muscular for figure and since the NPC is now introducing the Women's Physique Division, I'm wondering if this is where I should focus my attention. On the other hand, I really love figure and I feel like I could be successful at it but I know I would have to make some serious physical changes in order to do so. It's a lot to think about but I have time....I think... :)
I'm off to scour the internet for healthy but tasty recipes....if you have any recommendations or favorite blogs/websites that you go to, please share!!!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Project Tasteless Challenge #4


This week's Project Tasteless Challenge is right up my alley....it involves booze!!! And we all know that I LOVE TO DRANK!!!!!! I've missed out on the last two challenges due to prepping for my figure competition but I'm all in for this week's challenge! The task - create a drink you would serve for your favorite holiday.



For those of you that aren’t from the good o’ state of Arizona, we are known here for our extreme heat. It’s the kind of heat that melts your hair grease when you walk 200 feet from your car to your office (happens to me all of the time). It’s the kind of heat that makes you say, “It’s cooling down next week” when you see the 7 day forecast and it’s going to be 104 degrees versus 114 degrees. It’s the kind of heat that makes you play games like “Bet you $5 that my skin will be hotter than your’s after standing outside for 3 minutes since I’m the color of a Tootsie Roll and you’re not”.

I am aware of the fact that people will want to say that a dry heat is better than the heat + humidity of, let’s say, Florida but I have one thing to say to those individuals. Shut the heck up because you have no clue what you’re talking about!!! Being in a state that is HOT AS HELL is not a prize - we don't feel special because our skin boils when we go outdoors!!!

Now, it is very common for the meteorologists (I have no frickin’ clue why I can’t just call them “weathermen” but they want to be bougie so whatevs!) of local news stations to have contests where people try to guess the first day that the temperature will reach 100 degrees. It’s a stupid contest to have but you know what….don’t judge us….it’s what we do in the Southwest!!!

So, while those of you who live outside of this state may not celebrate the “Holy Crap! It’s April and We’ve Hit 100 Degrees” holiday – we Arizonans do and we like to have a beverage called a Michelada to commerate this joyous event. This drink is part healthy (Clamato) and part you’re about to get trashed (beer & other booze!!) so when you’re drinking them instead of a protein shakes don’t blame me.

Let this serve as your official notification that this drink is for big kids. If you want a creamy, frothy, pretty, minty holiday cocktail that you drink out of a fancy sippy cup, this drink is way outta your league!

Here’s what you need:


Ice
¼ Clamato
½ Dos Equis Lager
*if you even consider using a light beer, I will travel to where you are and put my size 10 in your ass!
2 shots of Vodka
*this number is for beginners...if you're a professional like me, you may have 3-4 shots
Juice of a lime
2 dashes of Worcestershire sauce
3 dashes of Tabasco
Pinch of salt
Pinch of pepper
Pinch of celery salt

*please note that I have large man hands so my “pinch” may not be the same as your’s*


So you'll start with....





Then add this....



And Clamato plus this....



Add a bit of this....




Don't forget....




Which should result in a glass that looks like this....


Now...excuse me while I taste test this holiday beverage....you know...for contest purposes....

*cigar is optional!*

Friday, November 12, 2010

F%*k You Friday

F%*k You Friday has returned!!! Hold your applause!! I know…I know…it’s been a few weeks but I’M BACK!!! And I’m ready to start callin’ out folks!!!

So, let’s start with a certain group of individuals who, despite knowing that I should have been in the top 5, insisted on robbing me!!!!!!!! F%*K YOU!!!! If I didn’t have home training, I would have walked on stage and snatched one of those trophies. But I am a lady and my mother taught me better, so I gave you my fake smile and went to eat my feelings at Chili’s! Mofos!

Moving on….f%*k you to my co-worker who scratches the wall every single frickin’ time she walks down the hall. I’m not kidding! She intentionally runs her nails along the wall as she’s walking EVERY single time she walks to the copier, fax machine, printer…you catch my drift. To her I would like to say, if you don’t stop putting your nails on the wall I will be forced to put my size 10 in your ass. Thanks and have a nice day.

Lastly, I would like to say f%*k you to Walgreen’s. If you didn't already know, these stores are the Spawn of Satan. It’s obvious that they knew that I am trying to eat clean and they deliberately sabotaged me by putting their Halloween candy on sale for 75% off. Hello, I’m a woman who lives on a budget so you throw up a sign that says “SALE! 75% OFF!” and you know my black ass is going to buy 15 bags of flippin’ candy without thinking twice!

P.S. My mom taught me to never waste food so that’s why I’m puffy and rummaging through bags of candy like a scavenger. Thanks a lot, Walgreen’s.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

That's What's Up Thursday

What can I say?!?! I want to be like her when I grow up!
Stacy Wright - now that's what's up!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

New Release Tuesday

Rihanna (or Ri-Ri as I like to call her) is lookin' so fantastic these days. I love the bright red hair that she's rockin'. I haven't been a fan of the last few singles she's released but I love this one! I just wanna shake my bootay (just like she does in this performance!!) when I hear it!

Oh na na....what's my name...what's my name... :)

Monday, November 8, 2010

The 411

Hi!!!! Yes, I'm alive!!! I survived the show and the eating frenzy I went on...lol!!!

The show was a TON of fun - I met a lot of great competitors including this guy who competed as a super heavyweight in bodybuilding - he was MASSIVE!!! Last show I didn't talk to many of the other folks who were there so I made it a point to chat up anyone in close proximity to me. Now that I think about it, I probably got on people's nerves...lol!! I was able to meet up with two girls from the world's best website Siouxcountry.com which was really cool. I also met Felicia Romero and her boyfriend Damian. They own AZ Pro Physiques and were backstage with some members of their team who were competing. Felicia is much shorter than I thought she would be but she's just as gorgeous in person as she is in photos. Her body is AMAZING and she was so down-to-Earth!!

So, I didn't place in the top 5 *picture me screaming at the top of my lungs* At this point, I don't know exactly where I placed - there were 12 girls in my class. I was measured at 5'7" at the athlete's check-in on Friday night so I was placed in E class for the show. Anyway, I will be completely honest when I say that I felt pretty confident when they lined up our class and I saw my competition. I felt so strongly that I was going to go home with a trophy at the end of the night that I would have put money on it! When I didn't get first call-outs, my heart broke. I could see my husband's face in the audience and the look on his face made me want to cry. We had both worked so hard and I felt terrible - it was like I had let him down.

Now, don't get me wrong - I didn't do the show just because I wanted a trophy. But those of us who have competed in anything, know that it feels pretty damn good to have a trophy in your hand as documentation of your blood, sweat, and tears. I didn't want the trophy only for myself but also for Tom who helped me kill it in the gym and picked up the slack at home, Genie who helped me with my diet this year, the owner of my gym who sponsored me, my family who supported me, the list goes on and on.

On a lighter note, I had a mishap with my bottoms during pre-judging! Right as I walking on stage, my Bikini Bite decided to stop working. So my bottoms looked like they were being eaten by my butt and I tried to discretely fix them but was completely unsuccessful. Crap like that only happens to me...lol!!

My post-show chow down took place at Chili's. It was a Jalapeno Smokehouse Burger with a 23 oz Fat Tire beer...oh yeah...that was AFTER I ate an order of Texas Cheese Fries! Sunday I had a photo shoot with another great photographer who will be competing in the near future. She was so much fun to work with and I can't wait to see her on stage. I'm excited to see the results of the shoot. I'll share those with you guys as soon I receive them...with her permission, of course!! After my photo shoot, we ate at a great little restaurant that made my tummy smile by serving me two buttermilk pancakes the size of my plate and thick crispy bacon. I was so fat & happy it was kinda ridiculous! LOL!!!

I'm back to eating clean which is not as fun as my post-show eating but I really want to stay as close to show weight as possible. It's not a lie when I say that I felt mighty fly rockin' my "date jeans" on Saturday night and I want to be able to put those jeans on at anytime! I'm taking this week off from the gym & cardio but will be hittin' it hard starting next week. Not really sure about future shows...I definitely want to compete again...I'm just not sure when...

Whew...that's a lengthy recap....I do have pictures to share but my computer is being a jerk right now so I'll post those as soon as I can....

Thank you guys for your support, kind words, and encouragement throughout this process....it meant more to me than you know!!

Saturday, November 6, 2010

SHOW DAY!!

Last coat of tanner was done at 10:00 pm last night...I was able to get to bed about 10:30 and woke up just a bit ago. I feel rested, anxious, giddy, nervous, inadequate, thirsty, hungry, and eager to step on stage :)

Here goes nuthin'....!!!!!

Friday, November 5, 2010

Where Did The Week Go?!?!?

I've been a terrible blogger this week!!! I apologize!!! I wanted to take time out each day to share what was going on but there never seemed like there was any time to do so!!! I made it a point to carry my to-do list with me because I didn't want to forget to do anything...lol! I rewarded myself on Wednesday after I finished my last cardio session with a pedicure - my feet never felt so happy. It was really nice to just sit, catch my breath, and do absolutely nothing.

I had my pictures taken by a local photographer yesterday. I was pretty nervous because I've always felt awkward in my own skin so the idea of posing and what not scared the hell outta me! Luckily, Tom went with me and kept me from taking myself too seriously. I'll talk more about the photo shoot and provide some contact info for the photographer another day. He emailed me one of the shots from yesterday - it's Tom and I - not too shabby!


I'm almost packed up....there are a couple of stores I need to go to so I can pick up a few last minute things...then we'll be on the road!!
Wish me luck! I'll post if I can!!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Making A Quick Appearance

Today has been CRAZY busy!!! I don't really have time to write a proper post so I'm going to share two pics with you.....the first is a visual of what I saw almost every time I ate today :) and the second is me trying to figure out if I really want to go through with my waxing appointment or not!!


Monday, November 1, 2010

What A Doozy!!!

This past weekend was busy busy busy!!! It was so busy that I didn’t get to try out my recipe for the Project Tasteless challenge – I’m really bummed about that! I may still experiment with it next week just to see how it would have turned out – I’ll keep you posted. Guess who dropped a gallon of milk in the walkway by the registers at Wal-Mart on Saturday?? Yep, me! And then after I checked out and walked to my car, I realized I didn’t have my keys. I had left them at the register. UGH!!!

Anyway, my parents turned 50 last week (can you believe that their birthdays are a day apart??) and my sister & I decided to have a surprise party for them! The party was a success – everyone enjoyed the food and company – and our parents didn’t kill us for going against their wishes and making a big deal about their birthdays! :) But I was exhausted by the end of the night! Add to that, the Princess wanted to go trick-or-treating and I still had cardio to do! Needless to say, I was DRAINED by the time I crawled in bed. Then guess what happened?? That’s right….I couldn’t sleep…go figure! But it gets even better!! When I did finally fall asleep, I kept dreaming about Big Macs and chocolate-covered pretzels! Torture…lol….

So, peak week is here!!!!!!!!!!! So many things to get done this week – every time I think of something that I need to do, I write it down with the day of the week it needs to be done by. Lord knows I’m a little forgetful these days! :)

I received the thumbs up on my suit bottoms so my mom will be putting the finishing touches on those this week. I have a list of outfits I think I want to use for my photo shoot but I still haven’t been to the store – hopefully, I can do that tomorrow night after work.

Let’s see….what else? Only 5 more cardio sessions and 3 lifting sessions left!!! I’m eagerly waiting for Wednesday night when the treadmill reads 60:00 because that means I can stick a fork in cardio!!! Woo hoo!!!

I leave you with a few of my progress pics from this past weekend…excuse my squinting…gotta love the AZ sun in your eyes :)




*Not sure what's going on with my crazy straight fingers! :)



Saturday, October 30, 2010

Laugh With Me

I saw this list below on Recipes for Gals in Figure and Bodybuilding's page on Facebook. If you haven't pressed the "Like" button for this page, you should probably do so when you're done here. Jen's blog "Jen-Fit's Fitness and Recipe Blog" is a great resource as well!

Anyway, check out the list she posted....for those of you who compete, you can definitely relate and have a chuckle or two.....

You know you're a figure competitor when...

1. For a few days each year your toilet seat is brown and this time it aint the husbands fault.
2. You can honestly say you have spent more on a bathing suit than your wedding dress.
3. Six inch clear hooker heels is your footwear of choice in your own home (and not just in the bedroom).
4. Someone asks about the man in your life and you tell that Gym is fine!
5. You have two sections in your wardrobe. Contest and Offseason. And they arent mix and match.
6. Your top three priorities on any given day: A. Workout. B. Eat Clean. C. Check the fitness forum board. Not necessarily in that order.
7. You can name any pro figure competitor by seeing her butt alone.
8. When someone wants to take your picture, you immediately spread your lats, tighten every muscle in your body, point your fingers and SMILE!
9. You take more pills daily than your 80 year old grandmother.
10. Your idea of dressing up is taking your hair out of the pony tail its been in for a week.
11. If you have had someone close to you, hide food from you in your own house.
12. An easy day is lifting and only 1 cardio session.
13. Instead of carrying a Gucci pursue you accessorize with a Coleman cooler.
14. Waking up so sore you can barely move puts a smile on your face.
15. You cant do any work because you are to busy counting down the seconds until your next meal!!!!!!!!!
16. The faint smell of Pro Tan gets your heart pumping faster than your man’s cologne.
17. You leave a little trail of Splenda packets, tupperware, and empty water bottles everywhere you go.
18. Your hubby makes you pee in the guest bathroom because every meal includes asparagus.
19. You consider Beano an essential part of your supplement regimen.
20. Your jaws are sore because you can’t stop chewing sugar free gum!
21. You spend at least 5 minutes grilling your server at a restaurant, and another five minutes re-writing the menu until you’ve got a meal that meets your diet’s specifications…and then you devour it in less than 60 seconds flat!!
22. You consider a day when you only have to make ONE trip to the gym a luxury!
23. You think about having “relaxed hands” and sticking your butt out while standing in line at the grocery store. (Hey, a girl’s gotta practice her posing!!!)
24. You consider condiments and diet coke taboo!!!
25. And…your neighbors start gossiping that you’ve had lipo cause there is no way a girl could get that fit in 12 weeks!

My additions to the list :)
* If you act like a kid at Christmas when your order from bodybuilding.com arrives
* Your daughter asks if the meal you're eating has been pre-approved by your diet coach (true story!!)
* You're not sickened by the idea of going for days without showering or wearing deodorant

What would you add?

Happy Saturday!!

Friday, October 29, 2010

Almost Forgot....


Look what happened yesterday....yep....I finally mailed in my registration form for the show!! And yes, I'm rockin' pink nail polish and Silly Bands cuz that's how I roll :)

Thursday, October 28, 2010

I Need Caffeine, Stat!!

I need an espresso!!! I had a TERRIBLE time sleeping last night! For whatever reason, my body didn’t want to shut down so instead of tossing & turning in the bed, I parked myself on the couch and watched shows on my dvr. It’s no longer 92%...woot woot…lol! Really though, it’s a shame that I have so many shows recorded and no time to watch them (Jason Morgan from General Hospital, I promise we’ll be together soon!). While I tried to make myself fall asleep, I thought about this week’s Project Tasteless challenge . I have an idea of what I want to make but it’s going to be a matter of getting it all to come together…we shall see….

Tom tried to kill me yesterday. Ok, I exaggerate but the leg workout he put me through was KILLER! There were a couple of times where I burped and wasn’t sure if it was going to be a burp or I was going to throw up. TMI, I know but have you ever had that??? I forgot my notebook to log my workout so I can’t tell you exact numbers but I definitely know there were weighted lunges, sumo deadlifts, stiff-legged deadlifts, hack squats, leg curls, and leg extensions! Good Lord!!!!!

I received my plan for peak week (can you believe it’s only a few days away?!?!?) and it’s going to be interesting. I sent Tom a text that said, “Got the peak week plan. I’m scared.” His reply (which was typical Tom) was “Be strong! You’ve made it this far!” so that’s what I’m going to do! I’m going to listen to Maino’s “All the Above”, Jamie Foxx’s “Winner”, and DJ Khaled’s “All I Do Is Win” on repeat for the next 9 days just so I don’t lose my focus. Ok…that’s a little extreme…but I’m definitely only listening to songs that make me feel like I can kick in doors like a member of a SWAT team and take names….what songs make you feel this way?

That's What's Up Thursday

When I look at this woman, the word "strength" instantly comes to mind!
Alicia Harris - now that's what's up!!!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Moment of Silence


I would like us all to take a seat and have a moment of silence for the death of my happiness. Orbit Cinnamint gum, Extra Dessert Delights Mint Chocolate Chip gum, and Maranatha Organic No Stir Crunchy Peanut Butter have been cruelly ripped out of my hands. So, let’s just take a moment to mourn the good ol’ days.

Now that we’re done with that, let’s move on to prep updates. I’m doing 2 sessions of fasted cardio each day. It’s not a crazy amount of cardio but tell that to the Tenecia that’s trying to conquer the treadmill at 4:45 am! As far as diet goes, carbs and fats have been decreased. All in all, nothing I can’t handle but it’s still a long road to Show Day!! I’m seeing some changes physically that I’m very happy with and the scale is being kind to me! In fact, the scale was so kind to me this morning, I stepped on & off 4 times just to make sure it was giving me the correct weight!! I’ve been practicing my posing and I’m still have issues with my “relaxed” pose…I just don’t like it…I look like a dork…whatevs…


I thought Monday was going to be a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day (one of my fave when I was a kid)! My morning started off with cardio that took FOREVER to end! My Princess and I did our normal Let’s Get Out of the House On Time routine and as we were walking out, I couldn’t find my keys. Now, I’m obsessive about leaving things in its given place (in this case, my keys are always left on the kitchen island) because it makes things run easier in the morning. Well, I can’t find my keys and after searching for them, so I decide to load our stuff into the car and voila, my keys are in the ignition. Not completely strange because I have left them there before but as I get in and turn the key, NADA! The car doesn’t start. Now, here’s where my panicking sets in. “What the hell?!?!” “Why isn’t this starting?!?!” “Damn it! We’re going to be late!!” You get the idea…well….the car doesn’t start because it had been left on since Saturday afternoon (long story – let’s not get into it!). Fast forward to 9:40 am…trust me…it’s better if we just skip ahead…my battery is charged just enough to get the Princess to school and make it back home. I didn’t go into work and while it’s nice to have a day off, it’s even nicer to have a day off WITH a car you can drive to fun places!!!

Since I knew the Princess was a little upset about missing computers since she was late to school, I decided that she and I would bake something sweet to rot her teeth and bring a smile to her face…lol…. I stumbled upon a blog over the weekend entitled Cookies & Cups and I live for every single thing that the author has baked. I decided we would try out the Candy Jar Brownies and it was a success. The proof is in the pics! I may make a pan of these to eat after the show along with a Dos Equis Amber to wash them down.






I leave you with a question....I'm going to have some pictures done next week...it's my first time doing a model/fitness type shoot...let's hope I don't make a complete fool of myself....but the question is, what should I wear? I'm at a loss and would love to hear your suggestions.

Happy Hump Day!!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Guess who was received an honorable mention for their naked cooking this past weekend...HOLLA!

Check out the winner announcement at Project Tasteless Winner and take some time to look at the other ladies who entered including Cindy (my body is BEGGIN' for some of that mac & cheese) and Devon's Rice Krispie treats (candy corn is a nice touch!).

This next challenge will be announced tomorrow so be prepared for some more outta control behavior in my kitchen - should be fun!

New Release Tuesday

I fell in love with P!nk in college when she came out with "There You Go"...she is a badass plus she has the abs long for :)

Definitely adding this song to my cardio playlist!

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Creamy Crack, Booze, and Fire Safety!


First of all, Rachel punked me into participating in her Project Tasteless!! Ok, technically she didn't "punk" me but she did encourage the readers of her blog to participate in a 6 week cooking contest. I’m not the best cook but I decided to participate in the contest as a way to have fun and get my black ass back into the kitchen!



This girl loves herself some vodka…ok…I love myself any type of booze…I’m kind of a lush…keep your judgment to yourself! Prepping for a figure competition is a big o’ BLOCKER of my love of vodka and that is not cool! I am also a huge lover (borderline addict) of Precise hair relaxers. I rock a Rihanna inspired ‘do and it is not cute when it is nappy! So…I ran to Sally’s to get my fix…I could feel the burning of my scalp just by pulling the box off the shelf! When I returned from the store, I took off my tank & comfy yoga pants and put my apron on (per the contest rules). Please note the fire trucks, hydrants, and Dalmatians – I’m a firefighter wife and it’s only right that I show my support for fire safety in addition to some side cleavage! Oh…and this apron was evidently made for a woman with size A breasts because I was showing ALL of my girls before I made some modifications to the neck ties! I also put on a pair of turnout boots because what’s sexier than a naked woman rockin’ rubber steel-toed boots in the kitchen..that’s right…nada!


*And before you start talkin' $hit, I did put underwear on before sitting on my clean kitchen counter. Hello, I have home training!!

So, I had to make a decision….Creamy Crack (aka hair relaxer) or vodka…?? I already knew I couldn’t actually have the vodka so I decided to throw on the creamy crack and then figure out what recipe I could use the vodka in. I decided to go with a vodka pasta sauce recipe I had come across some time ago and had apparently saved to a Word document on my computer entitled “Recipes to Try” (umm…yeah…I completely forgot I had even created this document!).




Makes 4 - 6 servings



12 ounces grilled, marinated chicken breast, cut up




2 garlic cloves, minced




14.5 ounce can diced tomatoes and juice




8 ounce can tomato sauce




1/3 cup vodka




½ tsp dried oregano




Morton’s Lite Salt to taste




Parmesan cheese for topping



I eat chicken almost every day and the thought of cooking it today made me want to hurl so I opted to replace the chicken with ground turkey. I’m also not a fan of mincing garlic so I took a shortcut and used 1 tbsp of minced garlic from the jar (shut it, Iron Chefs that are reading this!). I also added 1 green bell pepper (chopped) and black olives (chopped). Oh...and I have no qualms about using Great Value brand products...I'm a girl on a budget...I need to save money for important things....like MAC makeup, Coach purses, and 5" clear heels! ;)



I put the pasta on to cook and sprinted to the shower to wash out the relaxer that was now SIZZLIN’ at 10 on a scale of 1-5. Why, you ask? Because Creamy Crack Code clearly states that you may not wash out your relaxer until the skin on the top of your head is boiling like a Chemistry experiment, that’s why!


With the shells done and off to the side, I browned the ground turkey. In another pan, I sautéed the garlic and added the tomatoes, tomato sauce, bell pepper, black olives, vodka, basil, and oregano. While this simmered for about 10 minutes, I washed the pans I had dirtied and slapped my boo’s hands away from my backside!



After I had my fill of dirty…and I don’t mean dirty dishes, I added the ground turkey to the sauce and let it do its thang for about 5 minutes. Pasta was added to the mixture and el fin (the end!)!



I took out one of our "good" plates and served Tom the meal he is still in shock that I created!




Nails done, hair done, meal done…..I’m fancy, huh? ;)