Madness...And Not Cuz It's March :)

I chose the title of today's post because I was acting like a crazy biotch mad woman yesterday. The NPC San Diego show took place over the weekend and I had told Tom that I would use this show to gauge what type of physique they're looking for (since this is my first CA show - I figured this was a good idea). Anyway, I looked up the photos of the class winners for Class D & E and the competitors for each class. I then proceeded to start freaking out because I felt like the Marshmallow Man. I told Tom I wasn't doing the show because there was no way I could be as tiny as the girls who were showing up and I may or may not have started crying. After my husband told me to stop acting like a crazy person and that I was doing the damn show (his exact words!), I took some deep cleansing breaths and was good to go. Gotta love prep freakouts!

No, I didn't apply Miracle Gro to my scalp! I'm playing around with hair ideas for the show and decided to take my pictures with one of my wigs. What do you guys think? Too much? Be honest - I don't want to step on stage lookin' like a fool! :) It's weird to see myself with hair..lol!

I was squishy & bloated fuller in this round of progress pictures because I inhaled ate a burger (complete with bun!). Yep....there was a diet misstep this past week and the scale (and my butt!!) were evidence of the fact that I had a momentary loss of sanity. I was so happy with the progress I was making and for some reason, I decided to sabotage myself. What's done is done....this is a new week...no missteps....no burgers....mmmmm....burgers.... :)

I leave you with a picture that Tom posted on his facebook page on Saturday....the caption was "I got my tickets to the gun show! 4 more weeks!"

School Is In Session!

A week ago, Heather of Body FM: Tuning In wrote a great post entitled The Unexpected. The post was all about what she has learned since deciding to compete in her first figure competition. I loved reading about the unexpected things she has learned and it made me think about what I've learned since becoming a competitor.

In honor of Heather, here's my list of lessons!

Trips to the bathroom. I never realized how many of them I would make in a given work day due to the amount of water being consumed.

I had never heard of the term "food porn". I had no idea how much of this particular type of porn would consume my life while prepping :)

If I am going to indulge in food porn, the top three places to go are How Sweet It Is, Cookies and Cups, and What Megan's Making.

*random shot of my bicep :)

How cool I would feel the first time a bicep vein made an appearance!

That yes, Black girls DO need tanner...and lots of it!

How awesome I would feel when one of the guys at my gym told me he admired my work ethic and the brutality of my workouts.

My bedtime would change so drastically! 8:00 pm is the end of the day for me. That's right....I'm in bed by 8:00 pm and asleep by 8:30 pm!

That over time, "food is fuel" would become my mantra. Especially when eating the 4th meal of the day consisting of chicken breast and asparagus :)

That being called "skinny" would make me want to punch babies (lol...I borrowed that from Dane Cook!) and being called "lean" made me feel like I was doing something right.

Prep was going to be more than working out & dieting. It could, at times, be psychological warfare and I had to be a soldier & fight through it.

The first bite of Queso Ruffles right after a show is ALWAYS the best! :)

If you consider yourself a seasoned competitor or even a newbie, what lessons have you learned? I would love to hear them so please please share!!!

That's What's Up Thursday

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The first time Gwen Stefani appeared before my eyes, I was in love.

She was sassy, had style, and could sing her butt off.

She also had the best set of abs I had ever seen!!!

You know what else I love about Gwen - she doesn't lie about the work

it takes to have the body she does. In interviews, she's blatantly honest

about the amount of time she has to spend in the gym and the

type of dieting she has to do to look this good.

Check out this interview with Gwen where she talks about what it takes

to maintain her bod.

Her honesty is refreshing!!!

Gwen Stefani - now that's what's up!!

Back In The Day

A few weeks ago, Tom went up into our "attic" and brought down some items for me to look at. One of these items was a notebook of poems. I had forgotten about this notebook and it was like a "Back to the Future" experience while reading it!!

I remember wanting to be a poet when I was younger but I was so afraid of sharing my poems with anyone. My senior year of high school, we had to enter a local poetry contest as part of our AP English grade. The thought of writing something and submitting to strangers made me want to throw up. I asked my teacher to review three poems that I was considering for submission and she immediately tossed out the two I had hoped she would consider "winners".

My teacher chose the poem that I hadn't really wanted anyone to see but for some reason, had given her to read. She sat across from me, looked at me with tears in her eyes, and passionately told me that this was the poem that was going to win the contest.

Guess what?? My teacher was right. My poem won the Third Annual Young Writers Bilingual Poetry Contest!! As the winner of the contest, I was invited to read my winning poem and two others at the Tuscon Performing Arts Center on the last day of the Tucson Poetry Festival. I also had the honor of meeting Jimmy Santiago Baca and he told me I had a gift. ME!!! A gift!!! There are no words!!!

That was over 10 years ago and I had put that experience and writing poetry aside! But reading my poem reminded of how much I enjoyed myself that day and how proud of myself I was.

I'd like to share that winning poem with you - I hope that it touchs you on some level.

Shower

I rub the washcloth on my skin

Harder and harder

My skin raw

But I can not stop

I look at my dark brown stomach

The color is still there

Tears begin to well in my eyes

They fall on my cheeks

Brown cheeks

I rub harder

"Why won't it come off?"

I can't get it off

I am certain I am white underneath

I am like the blonde headed girl

Who called me nigger

I have her color somewhere

I must find it

Wring out the washcloth

Turn off the scalding hot water

Dry off my body

My skin is still brown

My efforts in vain

I walk by the mirror

I do not want to see

The dirty, ignorant black girl

That the blonde headed girl sees

New Release Tuesday

Hmm....I'm not sure how I feel about this song. I think it has to do with Nelly doing so much "singing" in it. I just don't know what's up with every rapper swearing they can sing like Joe or Luther Vandross :) I just don't love this song like I did the last one they did together "Dilemma".

Kelly looks so beautiful in this video but I always think that she looks gorgeous (no joke - I would tell anyone would listen that she was the prettiest member of Destiny's Child!!!). Her beauty just seems so effortless.

Watch the video and let me know what your thoughts are!

Here's What I'm Working With

Yesterday was the 5 week mark.....I'll let the pictures do the talking....



My Heart Goes To...

Here's some things I fell in love with this week......

A girl can only drink so much water and Coke Zero. Both of these have added some yummy variety to my beverage line-up!

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I don't really have much time to watch tv during the week but my mom & I have started watching this new show! Thank God for On Demand from Cox! We can catch the latest episode even though it's not on the day it aired! I love myself some cop shows and this one is moving up my list of favorites! Check it out!!

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I always feel like I'm struggling to find a deoderant that REALLY works. I don't know if I sweat more than the average girl but for some reason, every deoderant I've used in the past didn't keep me from getting the occasional wet patch on my shirt (ewww...I know!). Anyway, I picked this one up this week and woo hoo, no wet spots! Plus the powder scent is subtle and not overwhelming like some others I've used!.

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I am not a religious person (despite my upbringing) but I discovered this website this week while trying to find some guidance and direction. Through the writings & scriptures on this website, I have come to realize things about myself that need to be changed. I will be working on being a better woman, not only on the outside but also on the inside. 

I didn't just fall in the love with The Princess this week. But since I'm talking about what has captured my heart, I can't leave out this cutie patootie!

I also can't leave out Tom. We have been through so much and yet through it all, here we stand. We're unbreakable - period. Plus, the man is supa dupa fine. I mean, look at that smile and those blue eyes! :)

So there you have it....the things and people who have captured my heart! What about you? Have you fallen in love with anything new this week?